Working on a commission for a local builder, real estate agent Chris Ruffalo was quick to point out the benefits of buying a shack off the plan.

“People who buy off the plan are smart,” Ruffalo, a part-time scientist who occasionally gets lost in thought, told Dropbear weekender.

“I find it’s easiest to target young would-be homeowners because, you know, they want to change the world and all that kind of stuff.”

Speaking exclusively to dropbear weekender, Ruffalo was quoted by a rival finance journalist as saying, “the price of the home is obviously going to fall, but I’m not liable if the dust hits the fan”.

Benedict Hiddleston and his wife Cate Waititi use a Huawei smartphone because it was cheap. They’ve never read a privacy policy but use Facebook just in case.

“I think it’s pretty good for the community,” Cate told dropbear while nursing her triplets. 

“Once it’s maybe built in 6 months we can move into a shiny new one-bedder for $450,000, plus stamp duty, land tax, and $22,420 per year in body corp or strata fees (whatever that means).”

“We asked the real estate agent, who doesn’t need a financial services licence — and he said it’s a bargain.”

Fortunately, there’s a silver lining for the builder.

With so many gumnuts buying apartments for income, the can will be kicked down the road for at least another year.

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Please note: In case you hadn’t noticed, the Dropbear column is Rask Media’s satirical publication (that means it’s funny stuff, not true and you shouldn’t take it seriously). Sometimes, humour is the only way to reach gumnuts. Email to submit a breaking news story.